so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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