rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
