i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
