it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
