"it" just moved
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
