just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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