I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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