Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
