He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
