Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
