what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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