I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
