Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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