So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
