She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
