these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
