help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
