i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
