Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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