Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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