So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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