why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
