U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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