She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
