My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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