My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
