I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
