I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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