I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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