you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
