Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
