the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
