Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
