The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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