but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
