carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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