I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
