so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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