Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
