Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
