girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
COCAINE IS GR8
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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