im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
