i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
