I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
