she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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