I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
