I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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