So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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