If that was your dad, he is hot
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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