Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
