Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I want is dick and wine.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
