Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
